The Bed and Breakfast man

Lamb Chops

Apparently it has caused some controversy, but I reckon it's a hoot. I'll be having lamb on Thursday.

Happy Australia day in advance.

30 - 12

I find the purely sports oriented blogs pretty boring, so my apologies in advance.

Dear South Africa,

Thank you for the opportunity to play against you last night at Telstra Stadium. We have dusted the mantelpiece and cleared room for the Nelson Mandela Challenge Plate.

Please have it ready when we play the second game in Johannesburg later this month.

I must say that during the second half of the game your play was superb, tenacious and spirited. That last try by Drew Mitchell in his debut Wallabies game must really smart. Don't listen to the naysayers, the finger pointers, the coach etc. I thought the tactic of regularly kicking the ball to our wingers during the game was inspired. They're only the best in the world.

Keep it up.

A Wallabies Fan.

London Burning

Pathetic attacks by groups that may or may not claim responsibility on the innocent commuting public bring to mind people with the ethics and intelligence of a petulant and mentally slow child. Sadly a deadly petulant child, but no more mature in outlook. At the time of writing no clear indication has come to light as to who is responsible, nor what their motive was. The two main trains of thought seem to be that it was,

1. An attempt to undermine the successful London Olympic bid, and that any city that won would have suffered an attack, or
2. Just another cowardly attempt by extremists to cause indiscriminate death and injury on innocent bystanders that have little or nothing to do with world events, and possibly even marched in demonstrations against the invasion of Iraq.

In ancient times opposing armies held strong beliefs that they would win the battle if their God was stronger than the deity of the opposing side. Jihad came from the time of the crusades, and was the rallying point for an army that pitted the strength of its Gods forces against another's. And in the name of that God men fought face to face, army to army, swords drawn; and regardless of religious belief, both sides believed that if they died bravely for a worthy cause they would be welcomed by their God for their sacrifice.

Bombing bystanders on public transport does not fit that mould, and I personally cannot conceive of any God who would condone such action. And if these people, and I use that term lightly, are still pitting the strength one God against another, why can they not see that the need to resort to backhanded acts of terror is a clear indication of where they stand in his eyes.

At this time my wife, my best mate and my family all have close relatives in London. I doubt very much that we will be unlucky enough to hear bad news, but to know that in the course of their daily lives they may get caught up in a situation such as this is horrifying. It also strikes me that attacks directed at public places in a city where many Muslims live makes little sense.

Sydney has not suffered as New York, Madrid and London have, but the horror of these events touches us all. Our thoughts are with you.

And the Winner is....

The insults have flown, the decision has been made, and another chapter in the sitcom history that is the rivalry between France and England finds itself another lease of life. In a stunning coup England has almost made up for the Norman Invasion in 1066 by London winning the right to host the 2012 Olympic games.

Paris, the favourite to win, didn't. But it did offer constructive criticism on England's cooking causing many mental pictures of athletes holding a chip butty in one hand and a cup of tea in the other. England happily pointed out that the Parisian stadium sucked and then hid behind the Queen, whilst with a Gallic shrug France went off to drink some really nice wine.

I have often visited, and even lived in both London and Paris, and one thing I find is that you can find reasonably good food in both places if you have heaps of cash and limited taste buds. I know that is going to ruffle feathers, but coming home to Sydney is always accompanied by the welcome realisation that food that is fresh and well cooked doesn't need to be smothered in sauce, be it HP or bechamel, and that the produce here leaves many overseas countries for dead. Even the wines are in many cases favourably comparable to more famous wine regions in the world.

London, however, is my second favourite city in the world. And I lived in Brixton, so that's saying something. I adore the place and I would love to visit and be part of the vibe during the Olympics, but generally the host city's accommodation becomes as dear as poison, and is well overbooked at any rate. The blend of state of the art stadiums just down the road from thousand year old buildings and people walking the streets in euphoric chip butty moods is something I will miss seeing. I will have to get in touch with mates over there and get some bets laid on the Australian vs. English medal tally.

Being a resident of a city which recently hosted the Olympics, I think it only fair that I pass on any helpful tips I can think of to make London's games easier and more successful.

Security. Get Dr. Who. That bloke kicks arse and can keep an eye on aliens intent on turning up for the party. Sherlock Holmes should also be a part of the security team unless he has married Miss Marple by now and retired.

Accommodation. In Sydney people were asked to offer billeting for family members of athletes who had come to support their son or daughter along with their country. I suggest that Buckingham Palace would be an ideal location for this. It's close to the city centre, shopping on Park Lane etc. The only drawback is the no buses rule and the lack of an immediately convenient tube station.

Public Transport. If Sydney is anything to go by, it will be proven that tens of thousands of people can be moved around a large city on a daily basis with perfect efficiency. Immediately after the games those who run the bus and rail system will be so shagged out that nothing will ever be on time again.

Souvenir Shops. London has it's fair share, but it will need more. Close down businesses that are not viable or in the public interest, such as banks, service stations and Hospitals and fill them with cheap crap with a markup that will void any need for G8 summits in the future.

Opening Ceremony. Relive the battle of Trafalgar. That'll show the French whose boss.

The Grenadier and Horse Guard should also be given Valium, blinded or be allowed to kill on sight. They will be beset with so many people trying to make them blink, laugh, talk or fall over that they will all be claiming benefits from the mental health service within minutes of the opening ceremony.

Of course I cannot list all my suggestions here as I will have to keep some against the day I am asked to help with the organisation. My cousin is part of the Aussie mob re-doing Wembley stadium, and we all know what a stunning success that has been financially, so I'm off to get my passport renewed.

Reverse Lynch Mob

I'm a light weight. I admit it, and generally therefore steer clear of any emotive issues in the media insofar as blogging is concerned. (Therefore I recommend you go here  for an opinion on this subject instead).

Emotion ruling judgement is something I disagree with. Much of the media seem to disagree with me however, and emotive banner headlines have become the stock in trade of the majority of newspapers and magazines. It's easy to use emotion, to get someone riled. It's much harder, yet more important to maintain a reasoned and practical view of an emotive issue and understand that both sides of a discussion may have merit. It's also important to look beyond the point of focus and see the issue in a broader sense.

Rant

Politics and I tend to cross the street to avoid each other. Sometimes at a party someone will introduce us and an awkward silence ensues. I am thankful that many blogs out there have opinions both comedic and serious which I can filch so that I don't sound like an utter twat when people ask my opinion on the state of the nation. I can now pronounce the name Amanda Vanstone and can point out the funny little fella who runs the ship, although I have been known to get it wrong if there is a dwarf tossing show on the tele.

Culture Shock.

Word.

The President is hip and the Wiggles are in trouble. And there's nothing higher than DEFCON 1 to cope with the crisis.

Whistle while you work.

There's a whole section of the arts that I never knew existed. And now it's gone .

I didn't use the spell checker on this one

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

But will they have a Mardi Gras float?

A German Zoo has decided that a colony of gay penguins should be entitled to live in the manner of their choosing, and remain same sex couples. Zoo officials unsure if the birds were merely lacking in female company had some females of the species flown in specially from Sweden to test their theory. They were subsequently bombarded by emails and phone calls from Gay groups incensed that the Zoo was trying to make them straight. They had no need to worry as the females were apparently ignored by the males sexually, but they immediately all went to a nightclub and had a fabulous time.