Extortion
There wasn't a suit in sight. The queue consisted entirely of king gee wearers. Plumbers, brickies, fitter & turners, butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. The majority looking a little bit lost. The guy in front of me rang someone on his mobile.
"Bro, it's me. What's my mobile number? Nah don't look it up it should be on your screen. Really? Alright, but hurry. I'm in a bloody florist shop".
I told the lady who served me that I wanted roses sent to Mosman. She started by showing me the ones for $200.00. I caught my wallet as it tried to flee the shop.
"I love her dearly", I said, "but not that dearly. Those ones there, $35.00, can I get ones like that"?
"Yes", she said, "but tomorrow they will be $65.00 and $20.00 delivery".
"Hand grown by the Dali Llama I assume", said I. " If I pay for them today can I have them at that price"?
"Yes but we won't deliver them. You'll have to take them today".
"Why"?
"Because".
"Ok, so if I want something sent and don't want to fork over $200.00 what can you show me"?
"Well we have half a dozen here for $85.00".
Why are the ones below them $45.00"?
"No babys breath".
You expect people to pay $40.00 for babys breath"??!!!
"Yes, and they will".
"She told me not to bother you know. Said it was a waste of money and overly commercialised".
"All us women say that. It's rubbish though. We don't mean a word of it".
I ordered and paid. She knew I would.
Sensible man JtH. If only your brethren were all as intelligent.
I'm babysitting on Valentines.
How freaking romantic.
I hope Mrs. A. realises how lucky she is!
Posted by: Sass | February 13, 2006 at 10:31 PM
Oh! by the way Johnny, can you and Mrs A. Look after Bulldozer Boy Tomorrow night - something has come up and I could use the favour?
I'll drop him off at 6 OK!
He will be dressed as Cupid and Mrs A. will think your just so romantic!
(Better go with the fake bow and arrows - don't think the cats will survive otherwise!)
Enjoy the night!!
Posted by: Fourth Son | February 13, 2006 at 11:24 PM
Sure. Bring the little angel over. I've just bought a tattooists kit.
Posted by: JtH | February 14, 2006 at 07:04 AM
As a onetime florist shop owner I can assure you that the prices reflect the mark-ups from the rip-off flower wholesalers. There is a shortage on stuff like babys breath and other fillers which blows out everything proportionately. We were making rose orders in September the previous year, usually around 100 dozen at a markup of around 200% to other times of the year.....it sucked.
We had to shut down our internet server one Valentines Day.... could not cope.
Nevertheless a good florist shop will make 10 to 20% of their annual turnover on valentines.
Half a dozen roses for $85.... I should have stayed in the game!
Posted by: Johnno | February 14, 2006 at 11:53 AM