The curtain opens on a scene from the eighth century in Ireland. Father Patrick Muldoon is sitting with members of the village and explaining the new directive, hot off the presses at the Vatican, from Pope Gregory III. He is handed a Guinness by a barmaid dressed entirely in four leaf clovers, even though Guinness won’t be invented for another thousand years. Come to think of it, neither were printing presses. Ireland was always full of miracles.
Father Muldoon: "Oive to tell you lads, the Pope, God bless him and his funny hat, has decided to move the feast of the Virgin Mary to coincide with the building of the chapel of all saints in Rome to the first of November, so as to take over the filthy heathen ways that have led this foine country to the Devil since the sons of Mil landed on these Emerald shores and gave the Tuatha de Dannan a roight drubbing. You understand that the normal Samhain festivites will be taken over and replaced by this new ting called Halloween. You'll be allowed to dress up as saints and go door to door begging soul cakes and do a bit of praying as well”.
Seamus the shepherd: “Can we get sweets instead of soul cakes”?
Father Muldoon: “Oi can't see the harm in that, Seamus”.
Paddy the Innkeep: “What about the kiddies”?
Father Muldoon: “Oi suppose you could dress them up and take em with you Paddy, little darlin’s that they are”.
A small Leprchaun: “Can we still leave a candle burning in the window to guide the visiting spirits back to their family”?
Father Muldoon: “Well, as Oi see it, it would be best to hoide the candles in a hollowed out vegetable so as not to give his holiness the worry that the curtains moight catch fire.”
Seamus the Shepherd: "So we have to celebrate Samhain, the gathering of the harvest and the coming winter by dressing up loike Saints and going door to door to get food whilst putting candles in vegetables. And the Pope says we're off with the fairies"
Father Muldoon: "God Bless him and his funny hat".
Close Curtain to scenes of wild Irish dancing.