Johnny was excited. It had been a while since he was so excited, but today made up for it. Living at the orphanage and working making matchbooks till his little fingers froze was not much of a life, and when his laptop died the last little light of joy in the darkness was snuffed out.
He walked all the way from Marrickville on Thames to the opulent place where IT technicians lived in palaces and had video cards delivered in a coach and four. The people in the street disdained him, but he walked on until he reached the golden gates where the head of Scrooge Enterprises lived, and rang the doorbell.
The butler who answered the door in a solid gold wig and little else tried to raise an eyebrow but couldn't.
"Please Sir" said Johnny, "but my laptop has died and I have saved six shillings thruppence ha'penny to have it fixed though I shan't be able to use it on account of having no fingers no more".
"Gerrof you stinking little urchin" said the butler not unkindly, "or I'll set the 'ounds on yer".
From inside the house came a woman's voice.
"Who is it Dogsbody"?
It was Miss Periwinkle dressed to suit her name in bright scarlet with a bonnet made from the poor. She came to the door and little Johnny could see that she was rightly called the most beautiful woman in all Christendom after Mother Theresa.
"Please Miss" said little Johnny with big brown eyes. "My laptop what me dyin' muvver gave me has stopped working and I can't manage my share account via the Internet no more"
"Goodness gracious Dogsbody, the child is talking with his big brown eyes" said Miss Perriwinkle. "Get me a circus agent right now".
Miss Periwinkle took young Johnny into the palace and led him to the library where Mr Plumb was sneaking around with a candlestick and a length of rope. Sitting in the corner was Scrooge McLaptop himself who had a face.
"Ah" he said, "Well done Mrs Perriwinkle, it's getting cold in here. Throw the lad on the fire"
Miss Perriwinkle who had a heart of gold left over from the butlers wig threw herself at her wicked uncles feet.
"But Uncle", she cried. "Little Johnny has walked all the way from Marrickville on Thames with a broken laptop on Christmas Day. Surely we can be generous this once".
"Take his six shillings thruppence ha'penny and set him up with 12 months interest free on the balance, give him a Toshiba and get him out of my sight" said Scrooge in dulcet tones.
When Johnny got back to his hovel he marvelled at the beautiful new laptop with its Centrino technology, its badly placed USB ports, its DVD burning software; and got to loading all of his old programs. He watched in awe as the super fast processor multitasked, downloading windows updates and anti virus updates whilst boiling the kettle for tea. It took the Palm software without blinking. It loaded winfax in a snap, it finished pc anywhere....
... and came up with a beautiful blue screen talking of the wonders of hard drive errors and physical memory dumps before sitting and sulking.
He made the trek back through the snow to find that Scrooge had gone to Switzerland for three weeks.