I was in a store the other day that sells all sorts of utterly useless and hugely desirable electronic crap. When did they start making televisions with a screen surface area that rivals the dining table? And why? Most of whats on TV is bad enough on a normal screen.
The only thing besides the odd ABC or SBS doco that I watch at the moment is "Lost". They play each episode twice a week which may be for the benefit of the two people in the country without a video recorder, or because they consider the plot so convoluted that extra viewings are required to stay abreast of the plight of our dysfunctional yet intrepid air disaster survivors.
Based on two episodes, the premise seems to be that a plane flying from Australia to the USA has crashed. We don't know where, but judging by the sudden changes in the weather from sun to rain and back I assume they are somewhere in Melbourne. There is a fearsome beast running around the jungle, heard but not seen, that knocks down trees and eats pilots. For mine, Rupert Murdoch was on the plane and is pissed off at missing some important meetings in New York and is taking his anger out on the local flora and the idiot that crashed the plane.
So far so good.
Of the survivors we have the hunky doctor who can perform an appendectomy with a toothpick and pencil, a beautiful sidekick who seems to have escaped incarceration by becoming a castaway in skimpy underwear and a hobbit with a habit.
Oh, and then there was the polar bear.
The plane also had an Aussie girl who is moments away from giving birth, and a Japanese couple, the husband who has made it his mission to distribute sashimi and keep his wife's morals intact, and his wife who looks pensive, distant and slyly undoes the top button of her twin set every time hubby is looking the other way.
The good looking bad guy is at the throat of the terrorist looking good guy, and the only child survivor has lost his dog but found a pair of handcuffs which belong to the Marshall who hunky doctor is separating from parts of the plane using overweight guy to help hold him down while beautiful sidekick climbs a mountain with good looking bad guy and terrorist looking good guy and the hobbit with the habit so they can send a message for help which is interrupted by the world oldest answering machine message. *Deep Breath*
Then there's the bald guy who sits on the beach playing backgammon. Twilight zone music breaks my concentration whenever he appears.
I think that about covers it.
Got it? Good.